Cliché? You bet. It’s also been a long time since I’ve
blogged. I've broken the number one cardinal rule of the entire blogosphere. Maybe,
just maybe,the cliché has some bearing on the prolonged silence.
I’m sitting at the computer now, though, staring at the monitor
and struggling to somehow frame this blog while my mind wanders ethereal paths.
A handmade wooden desk clock, an old, sentimental gift from my then twelve year-old son,
says 10:30 p.m.. I’ve put in a long day, starting at 5:30 this morning. The house is dark except
for the light above me, silent except for softly clicking keys. In a tad
more than 6 hours my alarm will blare that annoying perky tune. I should be in
bed with my sleeping wife, but here I am staring at the computer, trying to frame
a mess of jumbled thoughts, always stressing about the novel I haven’t touched
in months. How does it come to this?
I’ll add another cliché here – life happens. Family and
friends happen. Work happens. When a load of stuff hits you in the face simultaneously,
writing suffers. Or am I just making excuses?
Maybe the dream has dimmed. No, I know the dream has
dimmed. It’s so damn hard to literally pour your heart and soul (another cliché!)
into a story that very few will want to read. Forget all the accolades that I
receive from fellow authors I know regionally. Why agonize and bleed over every
word in a story? As a long-time acquaintance told me once, “I saw your Facebook
posts about the release of your novel. I’m not going to buy it.” Gee, thanks
for your support!
I guess that’s why I’ve stared at the same paragraph in my
current writing project for more than two months, reluctant or maybe too fearful to dive
You know something, though. I’m a stubborn Italian and a
small ember still burns in my gut. The dream isn’t dead. Maybe it’s just
covered with a blanket at the moment. A still, small voice deep inside encourages me even as I wrestle with it. I can tell you this. I’m taking part in
a project for 2016 that I’m pretty excited about. More information is coming within
the next few weeks. The dream will always burn inside. I'll continue to follow it through the peaks and valleys, wherever it leads.
I’m going to bed now. I have to get up for work in less than
5 hours . . .