Hello, my name is Mark and I am an insecure writer. Pause as
the cloud responds: “Hello, Mark.” I just discovered that the first Wednesday
of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group Day IWSG and I’m
fully ready to support and generally commiserate with my fellow insecure writes.
For the most part writes are a neurotic bunch. I
see all those who know me nodding in agreement. Over the years, I’ve had 8
short stories published in five small market zines, six of which are now
defunct (Hmm, a connection perhaps?). Now I have a novel out on Amazon and B&N along
with a short story series I’m collaborating on, not to mention a couple of other
projects in the works. And you know what? I’m nervous. I'm insecure. Always.
There’s always a fear lurking in the back recesses of my
mind: who in the world wants to read something from a country hick living in
Leechburg PA? The same is definitely true with blogging. In many ways, I still
equate the marketing end of writing with narcissism. I’m still uncomfortable
doing it even though I’ve been blogging for nearly a year now. How could anyone
find my words, my posts, my thoughts interesting?
Still I write. There’s something inside that claws
at me, that won’t let me go. Perhaps it’s the same feeling a young athlete
feels as he dreams of reaching the major leagues or the NFL. The odds are
stacked, but that doesn’t stop him from dreaming and working toward his goal.
I am a writer.
I dream,
I paint pictures with words,
I create characters who come to life and become so real to
me.
I am a writer. I nervously put my words out there for the
world to see, never knowing what will happen. Maybe there will be silence.
Maybe there will be rejection. But even if one person enjoys my words, even if
one person is touched by the worlds I paint, then the effort is worth it . . . all
my fears and insecurities be damned.
IWSG is a wonderful group, isn't it? Haven't joined yet but enjoy reading the posts.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading. I'm about as insecure as they come.
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